The Gift of Sex by Clifford L. Penner and Joyce J. Penner (2003) is a foundational book on sex that explores the multifaceted aspects of human sexuality within the context of a loving and committed marriage covenant. With an empathetic and knowledgeable approach, the Penners provide valuable expert insights, practical advice, and biblical principles that can transform the way couples understand and experience intimacy. By addressing the physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of sex, this book offers a holistic perspective on sexual fulfillment and fosters a deeper connection between partners which is also God-honoring. This review will analyze the key themes and concepts explored in each section, while considering the biblical perspective and the authors' incorporation of relevant verses throughout the book.Central to the Penners' approach is the belief that sex is a gift from God and should always be viewed from a biblical perspective if there is any hope for healthy sexual intimacy in a relationship, which first means, it is confined to marriage. Unlike other Christian books on the topic of sex, such as The Truth About Sex (Arthur, 2005) that mostly linger there, The Gift of Sex covers a lot more ground on all aspects of the subject while always grounded on the Christian worldview. Presuppositions and their origins are addressed first as well as the role of each parent, church, and society and the effects on how it can inhibit an individual from sharing the same view of sex as God. They emphasize the sacredness of sexual intimacy within the boundaries of marriage and provide biblical support for their perspectives. The authors use verses such as Philippians 2:4-5, Ephesians 5:28-29, 31, and 1 Corinthians 7:5 to underscore the importance of selflessness, mutuality, and communication within a sexual relationship. One aim which is successfully achieved in the book, is to direct the reader to have their thoughts be “just as Christ” (New International Bible, 1978/2011, Ephesians 5:29) in everything. Chapters three and four specifically focus on the biblical perspective, emphasizing the significance of aligning sexual expression with God's design.The Penners then move forward to explore the physical aspects of sexual intimacy and recognizing the inherent differences between male and female sexual responses. They discuss the importance of understanding all body parts involved in sex and address important issues such as body image and how to overcome negative body image problems that will hamper the healthy sharing of bodies between spouses. To help with this, the Penners include their first of 18 exercises designed to promote and enhance intimacy. Also included in this section is a helpful explanation of the four phases of the sexual response pattern initially introduced by Masters and Johnson. These include the “excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution phases” (Penner & Penner, 2003, p.70). While the Penners provide valuable insights, a more extensive exploration of the physiological and neurological factors underlying these differences could probably be found in other writings. John Gray's Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (Gray, 1992) is an excellent resource that provides additional information into the inherent differences between men and women, offering a framework for understanding and navigating those differences within a sexual relationship. Nonetheless, the Penner’s emphasis on mutual feelings of enjoyment and understanding of each other’s needs contributes to the book’s overarching theme of the mutuality of pleasure much like is seen in Song of Songs.The next section encompasses a wide variety of considerations among the entire sexual experience, from initial desire to affirmation time after intercourse. It could be viewed as the meat of the matter by some in many respects and spans from the fundamental subjects of making time and positive environments that promote intimacy between spouses all the way to the practical issue of cleaning up after. The authors cover the importance of cultivating emotional connection, effective communication, and affirmation time within the sexual relationship. They highlight the dangers of demands and selfishness, promoting the idea of self-responsibility and mutual satisfaction. In discussing keeping it fun, the idea of affection without expectation is discussed to avoid feelings of being used or devalued (Penner & Penner, 2003, p.101) which is a problem that many wives suffer from. Another message, mostly aimed at men, is that the focus should not be reaching the goal, but instead, enjoying the moment. The incorporation of biblical principles such as selflessness and communication aligns with the overarching theme of the book as well as other books such as Love and Respect (Eggerichs, 2004). Ways to add variety and excitement are mentioned as is discussion on initiating sensual time and overcoming challenges in regard to it. Valuable insight to communication is given to overcome barriers of different kinds throughout the section, and specifically addressed in chapter 12 but a possible better resource for overcoming barriers would be another of the Penner’s books (Penner & Penner, Restoring the Pleasure, 1993). Also worth recommending, Les Parrott's Crazy Good Sex (Parrott, 2009) offers practical advice on overcoming obstacles and revitalizing sexual relationships, which complements the Penners' insights. Also helpful are three chapters focusing on pleasure and stimulation and the difference between the two. The Penners explain how we have the right to pleasure and how to go about receiving and pursuing it while, again, emphasizing that healthy godly relationships will not include demands for it. Chapter 16 is important in that it aligns readers with Christ regarding entry and the woman’s role in giving permission for entry stating that “Christ does not invade” (Penner & Penner, 2003, p.154) but waits to be invited. Also in this section is useful education on the “what”, “when”, and even “how many” questions regarding sexual release and letting go for men and women both.Addressing the challenges that couples may face when sex isn’t working, the Penners provide insights into various types of sexual difficulties and their many potential causes based on their own expansive research as well as resources from other previous experts in the field such as Helen Singer Kaplan and her trusted books such as The New Sex Therapy (Kaplan, 1974). Remembering in earlier chapters, sex and sensual pleasure among spouses involves emotional, spiritual, and physical elements, and there are pitfalls within each of these that have to be assessed and uncovered. They encourage open communication and seeking professional, and even medical, help when necessary. These 11 chapters seem to cover every conceivable issue that a couple could encounter, and the Penners do a thorough job at helping diagnose the issue and plan treatments using included exercises again or direct the couple where they can get help. The issues covered are too numerous to include here but include several cognitive and education related areas, trauma history effects, differing gender and time needs, as well as what is appropriate and healthy (i.e. - the question of masturbation, anal sex, etc.). Common in society today is the idea of “falling out of love” which is well covered in chapter 24 along with how to love again, even after infidelity and other difficulties people too often have to overcome. Birth control and the various ways it can affect a couple’s sexual activity are even included in this section as well, along with suggestions and advice on birth control efficacy and usage for spouses. It would initially seem out of place but makes perfect sense and is beneficial once read. The Penners also help couples to peer further into the “I’m just not interested” feelings, uncovering and helping with the many possible emotional and physical reasons that can lead to that. Erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and women’s difficulties achieving orgasm and release all have an entire chapter devoted to them to help the many sufferers. Pain during intercourse is obviously a detractor to the pleasure God wishes for His children in the gift of sex and it is covered in detail in this section. Dyspareunia is discussed and defined along with vulvodynia, vestibulitis, vaginismus, and vaginitis and help with diagnosing and pinpointing each is given along with possible treatment paths and next steps. Lastly, but certainly not of least importance or rarity, is the problem of pornography and sexual addiction. The Penners present the topic as experts and cite expert sources such as books by Dr. Patrick Carnes including Out of the Shadows (Carnes, 1992). The practical five steps offered here will help any reader who has determined a need for starting to get help and an action plan for freedom.In the last section concerning enhancing the sexual experience, the Penners present reminders and summaries from previous chapters and core themes of the book. One such reminder is that there is no shame or guilt with sex and God should be invited and involved. Afterall, sex is a gift from God for His children. Keep it fun, kiss passionately, communicate, continue to learn, and accept responsibility for your role in mutual fulfillment are just some of the ideas revisited here. The Penners end with encouraging those that need further help to get it and include a question-and-answer chapter that many can benefit from. The inclusion of the exercises conveniently listed aligns with the book's theme of self-responsibility and emphasizes the importance of proactive engagement in addressing and improving sexual dynamics.Several key themes are woven throughout The Gift of Sex. The book highlights the importance of self-responsibility in achieving a healthy intimate relationship, emphasizing that spouses are not to assume it is the role of the other to satisfy them. The Penners caution against the dangers of demands and selfishness, promoting the idea that sexual intimacy thrives in an atmosphere of mutual respect and care without burden or pressure. Other outstanding and accomplished authors on Christian marriage have also attempted to stress this important biblical doctrine in regard to married sex including Gary Thomas (Thomas & Fileta, Married Sex, 2021) with varying results. The concept of the mutuality of pleasure permeates the Penner’s book, stressing the significance of both partners experiencing satisfaction and fulfillment in their sexual encounters. Communication is also repeatedly emphasized as a cornerstone of a fulfilling sexual relationship, enabling couples to express their desires, address difficulties, and maintain a strong emotional connection and further education on each other’s needs and pleasures.The Gift of Sex is an exceptional guide that offers godly wisdom, biblical guidance, and practical strategies for nurturing a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship within the context of marriage. The Penners' extensive knowledge and expertise, compassionate approach, and solid biblical foundation provide couples with a roadmap for creating intimacy, deepening emotional connection, and enhancing sexual pleasure and fulfillment. This book is a valuable resource for couples at any stage of their relationship and faith who seek to cultivate a vibrant and satisfying sexual connection based on God’s grace and design for the gift of sex that He has given.ReferencesArthur, K. (2005). The Truth About Sex. Waterbrook Press.Carnes, P. (1992). Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. Compcare Publications.Eggerichs, E. (2004). Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs. W Publishing Group – Thomas Nelson.Gray, J. (1992). Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. HarperCollins.Kaplan, H. (1974). The New Sex Therapy. Brunner/Mazel.New International Bible. (2011). Zondervan. (Original work published 1978)Parrott, L. (2009). Crazy Good Sex. Zondervan.Penner, & Penner, J. (1993). Restoring the pleasure. Word Pub.Penner, C., & Penner, J. J. (2003). The Gift of Sex. HarperCollins Christian. https://libertyonline.vitalsource.com/books/9781418534899Thomas, G., & Fileta, D. K. (2021). Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life. Zondervan.